I know the Britons may think I have a lot of cheek to post something titled “Winter in July” when you hit 30 to 36ºC earlier this month when a lot of you do not have air conditioning, but this is not a “our weather is better than your weather” sort of post. I promise.
Last winter, my former Fair City of Boston and its surrounding area recorded a record 110.6 inches of snow. Totals like that never get anywhere near that in the U.K. The joke is that 1″ of snow falls, and London comes to a standstill. Regardless, when a lot of snow hits the ground, the people who live in wintery climates understand there is a huge problem. Where do you put it after you clear it Compounding that, people in wintery climates also know that you don’t just pick up snow when you plow. You pick up trash, dirt, rubble, and other scum of the earth (insert political joke here) that is on the road and the tracks. The Boffin and I call these accumulations Piles of Yech.
Well, in Boston, one of those places is in the Seaport district where the city workers created a huge 75-ft high Pile of Yech at its peak. Now, it is only 12-foot high, but it is ice-encased with some snow still left. It’s July, my dear readers. Click here, if you want to see pictures of its glory and read more about it. What you will see is the Pile of Yech at its most extreme. I am sure the workers had a betting pool over when the thing would actually melt. No one won this year.
Most of the time, in day-to-day life, Piles of Yech just stand in the far reaches of parking lots or on lawns like errant kids sent to the corner. There they are, outcast and in shame, looking forlorn. Sometimes they appear to be steaming, if the weather conditions are right. (To the science pedants, I know steam has nothing to do with it.) You don’t know what is inside of them until they melted off, and then you figure out where Grandpa went now that he thawed out enough to bring home that box of donuts he was supposed to get after church.
“They’re still good! Hard to tell with the ones with the chocolate sprinkles though.”
The vast majority of people don’t like them, don’t want them, and wish they would go away. And here is this asshole in Boston who is sticking around and may even be here through next winter. Sounds like your sister-in-law who was only supposed to stay with you for three months tops.
So, to the people of Boston, I can only wish that you enjoy the rest of your summer, that your fall is its usual gorgeous self, and that you have a calm winter. You deserve it after last year. And maybe your Pile of Yech can finally fade. And your pain-in-the-ass relatives move out.