The Boffin Can’t Do It.

When I checked in at The Bloggess, she posted a link to one of my worst nightmares.

It’s a Tumblr blog called Tinder in Brooklyn.  For those who don’t know, Tinder is a dating app that allows you to chat with your potential date, and you swipe through photos to find somebody with whom you would like to chat.

Well, all I had to do was read the first 10 posts to realize how lucky I was to be married and to formally announce to The Boffin that he was not allowed to die.  I will stick every single tube I can find into him.  He will not be allowed to leave this planet.  Cattle prods will be used to recharge his brain.  I will turn him into a ventriloquist dummy.  Anything to keep him going.  Sorry.

Me:  “I don’t care.  I will haul your body to Jim Henson’s workshop, and they will reanimate your ass.”

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker would be on the case. Photo courtesy of Steve Jurvetson.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker would be on the case. Photo courtesy of Steve Jurvetson.

The Boffin:  “I hope they will reanimate more than my ass.”  (Starts making ass spreading motions with his hands while blowing raspberries.)  “I’ll be the $100,000 man.  ‘Sorry, we couldn’t afford any more.’  Don’t think anyone will be able to tell the difference.”

Just don’t make me date again.

15 thoughts on “The Boffin Can’t Do It.

  1. “Cattle prods will be used to recharge his brain. I will turn him into a ventriloquist dummy.”

    HEY!! You are giving my Mrs ideas. I had to explain to her that it is meant to revive someone once they are dead, not to change their mind about going out to diner.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My wife and I agree that once one of us goes, dating will never ensue. It’s just too much BS these days with all the STD’s and other nonsense. At 54, I am not going back on the market again!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha! I love the idea of Muppetifying a husband. Fabulous image.

    I quite agree with your sentiments. I met my husband when I was 17, we became a couple on my 18th birthday and we got married when I was 20. I am not convinced I had much in the way of experience of actual formal “dating” back then but I am most certainly clueless these days. I would not know how to even begin that process. I don’t think I would bother even if the Henson Workshops don’t accept your business proposal. I never thought at my age I would be saying such things as “It was all so much easier in my time” but flipping heck it really was.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Of course, the whole Muppet thing was just us being silly.

      I can’t imagine The Boffin being happy with my going into perpetual widowhood, if something happened. He was a widower when I met him, so he knows firsthand what it is like to have to bottom fall out when you lose your partner. The fact that he eventually opened up his heart for someone else only serves as an example that I should live by.

      Liked by 1 person

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