Costco is There for You.

Costco (or Sam’s Club or BJ’s) has been a fixture on the American consumer landscape for quite some time.  They are called wholesale clubs, and what you do is pay a membership fee every year, in theory, to take advantage of being able to buy household and office goods in bulk at wholesale prices and to get a limited supply of retail goods at a lower cost.  Remember, that’s the theory; the reality is you have to comparison shop like anyplace else. In the United States’s Costco stores, anyone who is able to pay the membership fee can be a member.  In the U.K.’s stores, only certain people are allowed to be an individual member or a trade member.

So is it worth it to be a Costco member?  Here I go being mealy mouthed again.  It depends.  It’s the cheapest place to get gas in town, so that makes it worth it for us alone.  Considering the price for our favorite cereals too, we have our membership covered in no time.  Plus, we sleep at night knowing we will never run out of bog roll ever again.  If only I weren’t too lazy to put it away.

"Why is there toilet paper in your living room?" "We're trying an alternate fuel source in the fireplace."
“Why is there toilet paper in your living room, Karen?” “We’re trying an alternate fuel source in the fireplace.”

For $55/year, you can’t beat the entertainment value of shopping there either. I personally love the gift card section because you see stuff like this pack from Einstein Bros.

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I know this is meant for a boss to give to his or her employees, but let me explain my amusement. There is one Einstein Bros. in this town, and it is a pain in the ass, as far as driving or walking to the place . The food and drinks are mediocre, so you can get much better things for breakfast and lunch in the area. By giving out five of these puppies, it is a dead giveaway that the boss bought the 5-pack at Costco, so the employees are only worth 80% of the gift card’s value each.  Gee, thanks.

Costco is also a place of discoveries. I found out where all those flowery sleepers the Sprog received when she was born came from. No, I am not complaining. I valued every stitch of clothing that came my way during her infancy, as parents understand what happens with babies and their orifices.  Which only goes to show Costco is there from cradle…

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To grave…

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Non-emotional and non-threatening…imagine a Costco employee scanning your card while you are being lowered into the ground.  Are we talking do-it-yourself funerals now?

Don’t look for this display. They don’t have them in the stores anymore, but Costco sells the caskets, urns, and sympathy flowers online.  It’s nice to see there is expedited shipping on most of the items.  So what do you do, if the casket is on backorder?  If they can stick Nelson in a brandy cask after Trafalgar, I bet a hot tub and whatever beer is on offer at Costco…

You can certainly get enough food there afterwards to feed the guests after the ceremony. The cupcakes alone are obscene enough.

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Go big or go bigger.

Pick up a movie while you there. They love the Anglophiles.

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Although I though every romantic Anglophile had to be in possession of this movie by law.  (For the record, I still haven’t seen it.)

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On that note, I leave you with a parting thought.

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(Snicker.) Knob (Snicker.)

28 thoughts on “Costco is There for You.

  1. Brilliant. I love going to CostCo…..sometimes. When are we getting universal caskets in the UK? We’re so hard done to. Er, ‘Bog roll’ and ‘Sprog’ Are you sure it was only 4 years you spent here in the UK? Wicked post, thoroughly enjoyed it. 🙂

    Ooer Missus……….Bourbon, made where????!!!!! Looks like someone’s already ripped into that one. I hope you’d gone through check-out first.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, I have been with The Boffin for 16 years too. You know how it goes with married types rubbing off on each other. (That sounds a bit naughty, doesn’t it?) Thank you once again for the compliment.

      Must Costco be avoided on the weekends in the U.K. too?

      I love the faux rustic packaging on the bourbon. But, with non-alcoholic and tobacco products, no one bats an eyelid if you open the package and start munching or drinking, if the item is in your trolley. You just tell the cashier you were hungry, and he or she just rings it up for you. Of course, this does not count if the item has to be weighed at the checkout.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Never seen the caskets in there, kind of gross. You must be careful food shopping, some of the food they sell is sub par stuff, really awful quality. Never been sold on the membership…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry, there’s a place called BJ’s, what?

    I thought Taco Bell was the cheapest place to get gas. (Ba-dun-dun!)

    You have a fireplace, LUCKY!

    “You’re in good hands, with Universal Casket!”

    You think the muffins are obscene, what about their giant cookies!

    Is the water a bit yellowish in Knob Creek?

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    1. BJ’s Wholesale Club is out of Massachusetts and is common in the Northeast. It’s another Costco-like chain. I miss it actually. It had more of the household goods that I use.

      The fireplace was the first thing we did to the house when we moved in. Haven’t regretted it.

      The size of all their baked goods is obscene. I don’t quite understand why decided to make EVERYTHING that large.

      And I am not going to touch the other jokes.

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  4. As we are a family of six, Cotsco makes so much economic sense for us. We had membership in the UK but travel distance (we lived rurally so it was 86 miles to Glasgow and a bit further to our nearest Costco) meant we reaped savings but not to the extent we do here in the Philly suburbs. Here it absolutely has an impact on our budget. The toilet roll is bought every time I go because four boys use a lot. I also buy their own brand laundry detergent and softener which last me six months compared to three months for the generic I could buy in the regular supermarket. I also buy their huge sack of basmati every time I go as we eat a lot of rice. My kids get bribed to behave at Costco with ease because their frozen custard is so cheap and they also enjoy all the food samples as we go around. Sometimes I don’t have to give them lunch as they feasted on so many samples. My Costco doesn’t have gift cards or caskets though. Shame because the caskets could be the stick to the frozen custard carrot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Because of PA’s ludicrous laws on alcohol sales, our Costco doesn’t sell booze. Shame because I used to stock up on wine from Costco when we were in the UK. So I’m actually even a wee bit jealous of your Knob Creek. Even if it might only be handy as a disinfectant.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. They opened a Costco here in Southampton a few years ago. We went crazy buying everything from tooth paste to inflatable canoes. In the end we had to cut our cards up – we were spending more than we earned and running out of space at home. Our 18 months supply of rice, flour, tea bags has really helped us save and Yes! The bog roll has dwindled away – but we have space…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. A PC stands for personal computer. You use that term for just about any computer that isn’t an Apple product. Those are Macs. We watch TV off the Internet.

    A Roku is a little box where you can get your paid subscriptions. We have AmazonPrime and Netflix for TV shows and movies. We also have MLBTV for the Red Sox games. Roku also offers free channels too like PBS, so you can watch the shows they produce like NOVA.

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    1. Wow! I didn’t know that pc was a brand? And I have never heard of Roku, before! Those other things, I’ve heard others talk about, but never saw. My brother in St Loius watches TV over his computer, but I never asked him how. He probably has something like you have. If you have PBS with NOVA, that might be the same channel that has As Time Goes By. I’m still not clear on the concept of “not real time”.

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      1. PC isn’t a brand. It’s just a generic term for non-Apple computers. The PBS channel on Roku does not show the British shows because they do not produce them. It’s the shows that are broadcast nationally that are on the Roku channel. The individual local stations decided which British comedies they decide to show. “Not real time” means not shown at the time they are aired on regular TV. If something is being shown at 8:00 PM on CBS, and you watch at that moment, that is real time. If you watch off a recording later on, that’s “not real time”.

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  7. I need to guzzle that whole bottle of whiskey into my gullet after seeing a post that had a picture of a packet of toilet paper along with pictures of caskets. Oh, I fear dear one, I shall never recover.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For a while there, Costco was not for the faint of heart. I guess plenty of people complained, so they just remind people of their mortality online. The big packs of toilet paper? Well, those will always be popular, especially with the enormous food quantities sold there.

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