“I Bet You Married Him Because…

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of His Accent.”

A shop assistant at Old Navy tossed this line at me while I was waiting for The Sprog to try on clothes in the fitting rooms. (As a side complaint, no 10-year-old should be wearing women’s clothing. It’s The Boffin’s fault and his freakishly tall side of the family.)

I countered with, “No, I lived in England before I met him. He married me because I knew how to make a proper cup of tea.”

Then I had to explain the English Tea Ceremony.

I don’t think she understood my point.

What else could I have said in response to this?

“Actually, he married me for my accent. My Philly suburban honk radiates class and sophistication in his culture.”

“It was a marriage of convenience. He needed to escape the oppressive dictatorial regime in the United Kingdom.”

“My husband is actually the 12th Lord of Southampton. We are just shopping at Old Navy to keep his cover.”

“Yes, I did marry him for his accent. But when I finally listened to what he actually said, it was too late.”

Are women really that shallow?

24 thoughts on ““I Bet You Married Him Because…

  1. So many great answers it’s a shame you don’t get asked this every day.

    Bizarrely enough, people in the UK still tell me, “I love your accent.” So yeah, apparently the American accent does carry some kind of I’m-not-sure-what around here. I’m always tempted to answer in the New York Yiddish tradition of responding to a compliment about your clothes by saying “What, this old schmata?” (which means rag), Except I can’t come up with an accent-appropriate substitute for shmata.

    Liked by 1 person

              1. And to you. Which means I have to tell you the story I wasn’t going to take the time to tell you: Years ago, I worked for a writers organization and we had a visiting writer there during the fall, doig classes; public appearances; the whole schmear. One of which was scheduled during the High Holidays. At a staff meeting, he, very gently, explained why this was a problem and as the only Jew on staff (it was Minnesota, after all) I took it upon myself to explain that I was not only the only Jew but of the atheist variety and clueless about the holidays.

                “What you need to remember,” he said, “is that when fall comes you should start to get nervous.”

                So I saw your post and thought, Damn, another fall and I forgot to get nervous. Fortunately, I don’t schedule much of anyone for anything anymore and I’m practically the only Jew in Cornwall anyway.

                Liked by 1 person

    1. First of all, welcome to the blog. I hope you enjoy it here.

      I know she didn’t mean any harm, but it still was shallow. Let me explain my point further. The accent is a superficial trait. He just happened to grow up in the U.K. and obtained this voice.

      Meanwhile, The Boffin is chemical engineer with an M.S. from Imperial College (basically the U.K. equivalent of M.I.T.) and an M.B.A. He also has several patents under his belt. In other words, The Boffin is an extremely intelligent, innovative man who worked damn hard to achieve what he achieved, so when someone goes ga-ga over his accent and doesn’t listen to a word he says, it is objectifying him. He is just a voice with no substance. Would it be any different if she said, “I bet you married him for his looks.”? No, it wouldn’t.

      Since The Boffin has been living here since 1998, jokes are the best way to cope with the well-meaning natures, but thoughtlessness of the romantic Anglophiles who have thoughts of tea and crumpets but have no idea of what the U.K. is really like. The women at the drive-thru who gather to listen to him order his food. The fawning. The stories of their family trees. It gets old.

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