An Inflated Sense of Decor

Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas…the time of year when people decide to arrange bits on their windows, porches, and lawns in the name of decoration.  No, this is not going to be one of those posts where I am going to be shaking my fist at the world because of the consumerism behind all of it.

Angry Naked Krylon Guy, however, is pissed.
Angry Naked Krylon Guy, however, is pissed.

No, I love house decorations, even the overdone tacky ones. It provides great entertainment for the neighborhood and breaks up the monotony. And people can come up with some clever ideas with simple items. For example, with some branches, a plastic cauldron, and orange and white string lights, you can make this.

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I would think they have a battery to operate the lights where the “fire” is, or they have a Boffin who would run an extension cord under the lawn.

Clever, I think.

Of course, since I am writing this blog post, you know I am not going to be Little Miss Sunshine about all this decorating lot. I do have my limits, and that limit comes in the form of inflatable decorations. Now, I am not going to rant and say that have to be banned or say they are the scourge of society. Let’s not blow this out of proportion. (HA!)

Inflatable decorations say to me that the homeowner has given up. It says, “I have this bare patch on the lawn that I feel compelled to fill. I don’t have the time/inclination/talent/drive/money to actually make something that could fill that hole, so I will find an inflatable Santa coming out of an outhouse.”

To those outside of the United States and Canada, I am not kidding. That exists.

And we don’t have to wait until Christmas for such things, this gem of a house is not a far walk from mine.

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It took a lot of effort to put the webbing up, and then to stick inflatables around as filler?  To me, it seems like going through the effort of making a nice shortbread cookie and then slapping a cheap store bought icing on it.  Of course, it’s their house.  They have every right to decorate it however they want.  But since it is in the public, I can say that it is lacking.

As a side note, I have to relay a this story. At the time of taking these photos, I was across the street from the domicile in question. It was at that moment when one of our village’s men in blue appeared from one of the side streets along side the house.  He spotted me acting like a Creepy Stalker as I was shooting pics with my iPod. Since this street is a particularly busy one, he couldn’t easily cross over to talk to me, so I had to do my best mime work. I just pointed at the house, puffed out my cheeks, and cupped my arms, as if I either binged on Italian beef or turned into a beach ball. Shields and Yarnell would have been proud. Anyway, he looked at the house, nodded his head, smiled at me, and waved. I cheerily waved back, relieved that he didn’t think I was a Creepy Stalker anymore. While I was going on my merry way, I saw him looking at the house again and shaking his head. I guess I am not the only one who had a similar review of the decor.

At least the owners of this house keep the inflatables blown up.  What bothers me even more are the ones who, to save money, deflate their decorations during the day.

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What it looks like is the Jolly Green Giant had a couple of quickies in their yard and left the novelty condoms behind. I am assuming that in the Valley where the Giant lives, that’s how they reproduce. Unless, since he is part plant, there is some hybridization going on. If there is, Monsanto is probably involved.

If people are going to keep their decorations flaccid (Flaccid is a word only used with the word “penis”.  Decorations on the ground look like used condoms.  It all fits.) except for the 1 or 2 hours they are going to be home when it is daylight, what is the point of even having them in the first place?  Still, we have rights in this country, and the right to limp witches on the lawn is one of them.

But inflatable decorations did give me a blog post, so for that, I thank them.

It only makes me look forward to Christmas.

12 thoughts on “An Inflated Sense of Decor

  1. I AM outside the US and Canada, and find all this lots of fun. Depending on where you live, municipal street-front laws here would keep you from doing it. Lacking these, the terror of “what will the neighbours say?”. Which means you end up not doing what you really want to on your own property, which is a shame! I’d put something quirky if I could, but condominium regulations forbid it 😦 I can do without the yucky flaccid ones, but the inflated spooks, little Caspers and pumpkin are divine 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am sorry you have such strict condo regs. Like I said, I believe you should be able to put whatever you want decoration-wise, if you aren’t causing any hazards.

      Quirky is great. I love quirky decorations, but with the inflatables, they may look OK in the pictures, but you see the seams and how poorly put together they are in real life. The plastic ones may take up more space, but they look better and stay secure in high winds.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. To be honest I quite like them. I know they’re tacky, but they’re fun and I think all those holidays are perfect occasions to just do silly fun, and yes tacky if you want, things! I agree about not leaving them deflated though, if you’re going to have them, then keep them up folks!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m of the mindset that people can be festive and cheery and decorate their property however they see fit. My kids certainly love touring the neighborhood and looking at the decorations. However, I must agree that the deflated inflatables look like a mess and also a bit sad and forlorn. They also scream “We aren’t home so our house is empty” to any would-be burglars.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. House decorations are great, and we love doing the neighborhood tours too. I am so glad I live in a place where there isn’t a housing association because those sorts of regulations would annoy the snot out of me.

      I did not think about burglars and deflatables. You make a good point, Laura.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. “At least the owners of this house keep the inflatables blown up. What bothers me even more are the ones who, to save money, deflate their decorations during the day.”

    Well….. Halloween is all about horror, isn’t it? And what could be more fun than to horrify the neighborhood with tacky, deflated decorations?

    Liked by 1 person

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