Books I Haven’t Written

One thing I haven’t gotten around to doing is writing a book, but I started playing around with titles.  Of course, when I start talking about these sorts of things, The Boffin has to get in on the act.  Here are the products of our brilliance.

1001 Scenic Places to Scratch Your Nads

Great Moments in Extreme Sheep Shearing

How to Get the Shit Kicked Out of You at a Craft Fair

Setting Fire to Stuff for Fun and Profit

Toilets The Boffin Has Clogged: A Coffee Table Book

Faces on Which I Want to Rub My Bunghole by Lola

Come to Lola.  I must leave my scent.

The Papua New Guinea Aborigine’s Guide to Philadelphia

Just Throw Some Fucking Sprinkles on It:  A Realistic Guide to Cake Decorating

Scary Relatives in Their Underwear

Recipes to Make You Vomit

Bonus points if you can guess which one of us came up with which title.

11 thoughts on “Books I Haven’t Written

  1. I have a list like this, too:

    1001 Thing Wrong With Me

    Great Moments in Underwater Basket Weaving

    How To Get Yelled At By Strangers At Costco

    Annoying People For Fun And Profit

    Mold Spots In My Basement: A Coffee Table Book

    Butt Cheeks I Want To Nip, By My Imaginary Dog

    The Obese Person’s Guide To The Oak Brook Mall

    Just Stay Home And Watch TV: A Realistic Guide To Vacation

    Scary Diseases I’ll Probably Inherit From My Mom

    Recipes To Make With Almost Rotten Fruit



  2. Ha! These really made me laugh! I think the Boff wrote the first three, and maybe the Papua one too. I keep finding similarities between you and me, and now another – we have a cat called Lola too! She’s one of three we have, Lola, Freddy, and Misty. You’re not going to totally freak me out now and tell me you also have cats called Freddy and Misty are you? Oh and we have a hamster called Gary – any hamsters called Gary at your place?

    Liked by 1 person

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