Now the conversation leading up to this had absolutely nothing to do with the state of the Queen’s bowels. It started off with discussing Prince Harry bringing Meghan Markle to meet his family and having to apologize for embarrassing relatives. If The Boffin can hit the lowest common denominator, we will.
Me: I can say the Queen shits her pants.
The Boffin: That’s treasonous!
Me: Not my country. I can say what I want about the Queen.
The Boffin: The Queen can make others shit their pants.
Me: I’m not a citizen. The Queen can’t do shit to me.
The Boffin: She could make me a lord and then you would have to say, “Oh yes, my Lord, whatever you want!”
Me: No I won’t.
Me: But I would be a lady. A lady outranks a lord. (Smirk)
The Boffin: How does a lord outrank a lady?!
Me: Because ladies first.